The economy gave my graduate degree and I the double-fisted middle finger and I needed a place to live for a while. This led me to living in The Plug headquarters (Jay and Patti's spare bedroom) in exchange for being the live-in puppy sitter. It was a pretty good time, playing with dogs, eating shrimp and grits, and playing video games. The thing is, and you'll learn quickly, Jay is always working on The Plug. Every conversation is a potential article. He once received a giant box in the mail and I said, “Hey Jay, I think you should get in that box.” Boom, article. Next thing you know your voice is recorded and put on the internet while you're none the wiser. I'm not going to lie, it's an exciting life.

I've since moved from the Carlson household, but I sometimes stop by to drop off cupcakes or hang out, you know, what normal people do. This includes using their restroom. No big deal, right? Sure, until you see a tube of Crest toothpaste. I know Jay hates Crest brand. I picked up the tube and the base had been cut open, and inside was a… GULP, get ready for this folks, a mini tape recorder! Instantly I began to sweat. “What is THIS article about?” It's not Jay's style to record the obvious potty sounds, but I immediately started to imagine articles: For how long do my house guests wash their hands? How many people talk, sing, hum, or exhale a sigh of relief? I could go on and on, and the dialogue in my head did. Whatever happens when I close that door is between me and wherever the pipes lead. I didn't quite know how to bring this up so I just said, “I saw that tape recorder in the bathroom and didn't like it!” Jay looked terribly embarrassed, told me it wasn't what I thought.

JAY: That's where I was singing (Kyle Croonsworth). I can't do it when Patti is listening. It's the kind of thing that sounds weird when you try to explain it, but you weren't being taped, I promise. The toothpaste container is an all-purpose container. It's always in that because it's my incognito traveling recorder. I rarely take it out because it's a pain in the ass to take out. I don't know what else to say to make someone think I'm not a perv, but that is the 100% truth.

He sounds genuine, but it was all very fishy and scary! But I trust him. After all, I know where he lives.