The Voodoo That You Do: A Journal To Learn From

DAY THREE

12:03 p.m. - I got a late start thinking about the day's pin placement. I've been doing yard work, so that should have been a prime activity for discovering body limitations. The only place where I'm feeling mild discomfort is my butt, but I attribute that to working out.

4:11 p.m. - It would be funny if I took a drink of water and then suddently sprung a leak. If only cartoons were based on scientific fact.

6:43 p.m. - And the lack of commentary continues. I don't want to overthink this experiment, but aside from a sore muscle in my butt, I've not noticed anything abnormal. I'm kind of sleepy, so maybe Patti stuck the pin through my eyes and into my brain. A voodoo lobotomy wouldn't be such a bad thing.

JAY:  There's only one place that I feel like it could be.

PATTI:  Where's that?

JAY:  My butt.

PATTI:  How come?

JAY:  I don't know. I just kind of feel like whenever I sat, I would be a little antsier than usual. I feel like when I stand up it takes a little more oomph than usual. So I'm going to say my butt, especially after [doing yard work] today.

PATTI:  [Opens box]

JAY:  It's in my butt? Seriously?

PATTI:  Seriously. Right butt cheek specifically.

JAY:  I can't really specify one versus the other. No way! That's crazy.

PATTI:  What the hell, man? You never complain about pain in your butt ever. I don't think I've ever heard you complain about pain in your butt.

JAY:  Isn't that wild? How can that be?

PATTI:  Well, I stuck a pin in a voodoo doll, so it made your ass hurt.

JAY:  So you believe in it?

PATTI:  There's no other explanation. It got your shoulder yesterday. The only time it didn't work was when I stuck it in your ear. Maybe that's because the voodoo doll was still learning its host. I didn't even have to say any incantations. The system works. The voodoo system. I'm voodoo lady.

JAY:  So basically I shouldn't wrong you, because then you'll use a voodoo doll against me.

PATTI: You better watch out.

JAY: Or else I might feel slight discomfort if I stand up.

PATTI: Well, I could get bigger needles.