The first step to becoming a spigot? Cut a hole in posterboard.

The first step to wearing a dumb-looking poncho? Cut a hole in posterboard.

A second piece of posterboard became the knob headpiece. Remember, kids: Measure twice. Cut once.

I patterned the knob design after the spigot on the side of my house. My home spigot is a bit old, but I think that people would find its design universally spigot-like. There's nothing worse than spending all the effort to make a costume only to have someone ask, "What are you supposed to be"

Much assembly required. I don't want to hear any crap about how I have too much time on my hands.

I lined the interior of the hat with felt so that it would fit more snugly and I wouldn't get any paper cuts across my forehead. Paper cuts on my forehead are really more of a drunken birthday thing.

I crafted  a curved tube out of duct tape and posterboard. The tube turned out bulkier than I anticipated.

I affixed the curved tube to the posterboard poncho. That glue gun is the best $2.99 I ever spent.

Maybe I'm just horny, but this costume is looking pretty good. This photo was taken during my first fitting. The costume is incredibly light and comfortable to wear. And if you put your ear up to it, you can hear the ocean.

Another year, another costume involving silver spray paint. Metallic finish, of course.

The role of water was portrayed by light blue ribbon, whose previous credits include birthday present, wedding present, and bondage. Welcome to the cast.

This is the finished product. I can't stress enough how comfortable and managable this costume turned out to be, which is a serious departure from my costumes in the past. There were a few things I forgot to document with pictures, however: