Pre-Consumption: I am 100% certain that today's Mystery Can is sauerkraut, because it sounds like a wet towel is in there. I don't like sauerkraut, so I'm taking some preemptive action with tonight's dinner menu. My meal is fake chicken stuffed with goat cheese and cranberries. I'm also making mashed potatoes with gravy (I am in lust with gravy all over again). And rounding out the meal is spinach with garlic. There are multiple ways I could deal with the sauerkraut. I could turn a negative into a positive by dousing it with leftover gravy. Or I could mix the sauerkraut with the spinach if the sauerkraut isn't too offensive.

Opening Ceremony: That is definitely not sauerkraut. I don't know what it is. My best guess is pickled peppers, and they are super salty! I rinsed them and a lot of red stuff came off. But Lord, they're still so salty. I feel like I just ate a teaspoon of sea salt. Patti suggested soaking them in water, so I will definitely be doing that.

Post-Consumption: I soaked the pickled peppers in three water baths. They tasted better, but like the quail eggs, I could only consume half of the can. They were just so damn salty.

Epilogue: If I died right now, my body would be nicely preserved.

Pre-Consumption: The can that I picked somehow escaped me when I was going through my phase of choosing ugly cans. It's quite unattractive. The dinner that I am preparing is a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of corn.

Opening Ceremony: And the contents of the can are, huh, refried beans. It's a good thing I decided not to make burritos. The refried beans slid out of the can and resemble dog food.

So much for maintaining the can shape. Two minutes in the microwave and the cylinder fell over like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Post-Consumption: I'm not positive that the can was refried beans. It may have been bean chili. Either way, it was a perfect complement to the meal since I didn't have a protein on the plate. I added sour cream and salsa on top of bean mountain and everyone ate happily ever after. That's pretty much the best-case scenario when playing Mystery Can.

Epilogue: Farting aside, I've dodged a lot of bullets these past eight days. It's hard to believe that the game is almost over.