Pre-Consumption: The home stretch. This is the last full-size can left. Dinner tonight is another packet of Indian Fare (Punjab Eggplant) with a side of naan. The package says Punjab eggplant comes in a "distinctively flavored sauce." You could say the same of my dog's food, but I'll trust that the makers of Punjab eggplant know what they're doing.

Opening Ceremony: And we have... pumpkin filling or yams (again). I can't believe that I can't tell the difference between the two. They walk a fine line.

Post-Consumption: After eating a plate of the stuff, it has to be the same thing that I ate before. It has got to be the yams. Unlike the yams that I ate on Day One, these yams are mashed and creamy (maybe this is pumpkin). They're so creamy that I could drink it through a straw. When I put a forkful in my mouth, I instinctively begin to chew, but there's nothing for my teeth to break down. I just find myself swishing it around. It's definitely not my favorite thing in the world to eat, especially the second time around.

Pre-Consumption: Mystery Can is kind of like summer camp. It's an enormously inconvenient pain in the ass, but when it's over, you're sad that it's ending and nostalgic for the good times that you've had. My meal for the evening is a burrito with soycutash.

Opening Ceremony: It's dark. Squishy. It doesn't look like something that I would eat even as a bet. There's corn mixed in, so I am confused. Mud pie salsa? The presence of corn weirds me out more than the black color. Actually, I take that back. The corn and black sludge contribute equally towards the appearance of a dirty diaper.

Post-Consumption: I don't even want to know what was in that can until after it's left my body. My best guess is fish pancreas or similar organ. It didn't taste bad, but I tried not to think about the fact that I was eating black sacs with blacker "juice" inside. It makes me think that the combination is natural, but there's not much natural about this. Mentally, it was very difficult to eat. I'd already thrown up once in this game, so I tried to think of the salty caca as something other than, well, you know. The good news is that I didn't throw up. The bad news is that I feel like a prostitute who sold my body for nourishment. Tracie, you got me. My white flag is waving.

Epilogue: I've learned from a friend that what I ate is a fungus known as huitlacoche. It's universally considered to be disgusting, and on behalf of the universe, I would like to vouch for that statement. Mystery Can 2008 has officially come to close and I look forward to the lifetime of Labeled Can that will follow.