Dishwash Olympics: Patti's Journal
DAY ONE
The Dishwash Olympics have begun and Jay is off to a roaring start. It's only day one and I think I have no chance of beating this man. Seriously, he's on fire. I think he must have some sort of magical powers or clairvoyance or perhaps just a dishwasher's intuition, because he pounces on that sink of dishes like a kitten on a furry toy mouse. More cute than ferocious, but dangerous all the same.
DAY TWO
I think I have figured out Jay's game. He's all like, “Oh, you guys go ahead and fix your meaty dinner first and I'll wait til you're done and make my vegetables.” Acting all chivalrous, right? So I fix my dinner and sit down to enjoy it and then Jay grabs up all the dishes I used to cook with while I'm eating! Those are pots and pans and shit, you know like the big time stuff! And it's not like I'm gonna wash them right after I use them, before I eat my dinner, because I like my meaty dinners hot. I'm not going to go so far as to call Jay the chea -word, but due to his guerilla tactics, I seriously cannot win this game.
DAY THREE
Having accepted that I probably won't win, I'm starting to enjoy losing the Diswash Olympics. The kitchen sink has never been so un-full. The cabinets are always stocked with clean glasses and plates. And the best part is, Jay is doing most of the work for once. See, if we weren't competing, I'd totally be MVP all the time forever. Because I just am. I'm really awesome like that. In a domestic yet sexy sort of way.
DAY FOUR
I'm starting to take this game more seriously now. I'm trying to get some real points on the board. I don't know if I can make up for the first two days of slacking off. Jay keeps complaining about how glasses should be less than three points, and I'm getting tired of his whining. If I could, I would assign Jay a penalty of some sort. Like no making out. Who wants to make out with a whiney-butt? I don't.
DAY FIVE
Six points to me today. I am such a failure. Thank God my mom doesn't read this website. She would be so ashamed.
DAY SIX
I had a strong day. I think thirty-nine points is a lot. I don't really know, though, because Jay covered up the previous days so that I wouldn't know how many points I have to make up to beat him. That Jay is one sneaky sumbitch.
DAY SEVEN
I've done all that I can do. If Jay wins, he probably deserves it. He washed a lot of dishes this week and the kitchen practically sparkles. I kind of wish the Dishwash Olympics didn't have to end. But since they did, I'm gonna go tally up the points while Jay is asleep. I want to be the first to know. Because I'm impatient like that.
